You just received your Autism diagnosis later in life and you’re feeling overwhelmed and lost. Maybe you find yourself thinking, “Okay. What now?” You’ve received the diagnosis whether it’s a formal one or self-diagnosed, and now you find yourself wondering what this means for your life. What do you do and where do you go from here?
You’re happy to feel validated in your experiences and your suspicions, but you may also feel uncertain about how to move forward. Where do I find a support system? How do I explain this to my family and friends? What are ways that I can navigate the world in a way that honors me and my needs? That’s why in this blog we will talk about the challenges and benefits of obtaining a late-in-life Autism diagnosis, and provide you with a roadmap to help you find the best way forward.
Some People Lack Awareness and Support
As you have just gained your late-in-life Autism diagnosis, you may not fully understand what Autism means. Or, you do, but others around you are not informed, misinformed, or base their knowledge on stereotypes. This can be difficult as you are accepting this new part of your identity that you have been longing to figure out and understand. It may have you reevaluating your relationships with those who are not neurodiversity-affirming.
This can lead to a lot of confusion and a lot of inner turmoil as you mull over the question, “Are these the people I want in my life going forward?” You may be seeing partners, friends, family members, or even people in your support system in a new light. For example, your partner is one to criticize people for the way they are and expects them to be different. They are not one to give space or grace for it, and you know this isn’t a healthy relationship for you. You may now be questioning your relationship or marriage.
It Can Make Things Harder When Others Around You Don’t Understand and Lack the Awareness of What Autism Is.
Due to the lack of awareness people have, you may not have as much support as you need. At work, you may not receive the accommodations you need because your supervisors and colleagues don’t even understand what it is you need. There is no top-down approach to learning what Autism is and how to support neurodiverse employees. Your family may not understand either. Instead of simply being understanding and supportive, they may dismiss your diagnosis or hold biases that are unhelpful. Or, they accept your diagnosis but want to talk about it.
However, there are ways to find support outside of these established relationships that may no longer serve you. Or, that are not neurodiversity-affirming. Many autistic individuals find neurodiversity affirming people or a community they can trust. This can be through Autism group therapy, Facebook groups, or even in-person social events. This can really create inspiration, excitement, connection, and a sense of belonging. All the things we want in our life that make continuing on the road worthwhile.
The Relief Isn’t There But You Can Achieve It
Perhaps you thought that once you received your Autism diagnosis you would feel relief, maybe almost instantly. But once you got the diagnosis, that didn’t happen. This form of relief doesn’t happen to everyone, but you really felt that once you got the diagnosis there would be a “click”. That there would be this sense of relief that you now understand your experiences, why you felt the way you did, and why you did the things you did.
But this relief doesn’t come automatically with a diagnosis, and it may take some therapy to get there. You may experience this disappointment more if you’ve had a lot of shame, guilt, or even fear surrounding your suspicions of Autism. You may have been surrounded by people who lack awareness and only know of Autism through stereotypes and misinformation. Or, your family may be less than accepting of the diagnosis that has become a part of you.
Your Feelings and Experiences Are Valid, But This Doesn’t Mean That You Can’t Achieve Relief.
As you dig deeper into why these feelings exist, explore and process your diagnosis along with how it has impacted your life, and you can start to gain more self-affirmation in who you are. This can take a lot of therapy to unpack these feelings, and navigating the emotions of surprise, denial, and shame. But, you can get that sense of relief.
Know, this is not a linear trajectory. Just like a roadmap, your journey to healing can be full of unexpected turns and there can be challenges that you face. But, through addressing these feelings and taking the time to process the change, your path might not be linear but it may lessen your time offroading.
Self-Affirmation Can Be Uplifting and Powerful
Through the process of addressing your feelings, the change that has happened in your life, and the integration of your diagnosis, you can start to become more self-affirming. The more you’re able to affirm yourself, is amazing. When you’re able to do this for yourself and deeply integrate it into your life, it can be incredibly uplifting and empowering.
Your self-worth and self-esteem will start to soar as you become more comfortable with who you are as an autistic person. You will be able to recognize all of the challenges you have faced and continue to face then validate your experiences. Acknowledging that you have done a great job surviving and continuing to thrive even in the face of adversity. That you do hard things that others don’t have to and still persevere.
That’s a Form of Resilience and Strength That Should Be Celebrated.
Another form of support that will help celebrate your resilience and your being your authentic self is having an Autism specialist or a neurodivergent coach. They will be able to understand where you’re coming from and be able to help you propel forward on your journey. They understand what you’re going through as someone who has received a late-in-life Autism diagnosis and will help you to integrate Autism into your identity.
A big part of what they will do is support you and help you process your past through an Autism lens. You will get this opportunity with them to look at your past through new eyes. This can help you access compassion that you lacked back then because you and others did not understand your diagnosis. They will support you in addressing the shame surrounding your differences and increase your self-awareness and self-acceptance.
Autism is Not a Diagnosis But Really a Form of Diversity
Remember, Autism is not a diagnosis that you need to “fix”, it’s a form of diversity. It’s not something that needs to be fixed but rather understood, appreciated, and accepted. Having a support system that can help you navigate your life as you have been wired as a human and honoring that wiring is important.
These specialists, coaches, therapists, family members, partners, or friends can help you appreciate the hard things you do. They can help you realize that you are swimming upstream every single day of your life and that despite that, you continue to do amazing things. Having this kind of support can help you stay balanced, and shift how you treat yourself and what activities you do to integrate self-care and things that benefit you.
Working With a Team of People Who Understand Neurodiversity
Working with a team of people who understand neurodiversity and the challenges you face can help normalize your experiences. For example, an Executive Function Coach can be helpful when autistic individuals have co-occurring ADHD. They can really normalize a lot of these experiences that clients feel make them weird or different and help them to understand that others experience them too.
These specialists will help you to navigate how to work with your neuro differences. Also supporting you in working with who you are, not against who you are. Diversity is a part of life and when you can embrace it, despite the challenges that come with it you can live a more fulfilled life. Living your life as your authentic self is the goal and you can get there with the right support.
Begin Working With Neurodiversity Affirming Therapists in Silicon Valley
Receiving a late-in-life Autism diagnosis may leave you feeling lost and not sure where to go. Having people to support you on your journey is important and those who understand that Autism is a form of diversity, not a diagnosis to be “fixed”. At Open Doors Therapy, we offer a range of services that are tailored to the individual needs of neurodiverse individuals. If you’re interested in learning more about our team, our services, and which may be right for you, you can follow these steps to gain more information:
- Reach out to our autism therapy practice and schedule a free phone consultation.
- Learn more about our services and which may be best for you or your child
- Start figuring out where to go next on your roadmap to self-discovery and acceptance!
Other Services Offered with Open Doors Therapy
Our team understands that receiving a late-in-life Autism diagnosis can come with change and new challenges. That’s why we offer a variety of services to help you through the process of becoming more self-aware and self-affirming. This is why our California-based practice is happy to offer a variety of services in support of your mental health. We also offer individual therapy, parent counseling, and group therapy. In addition, we also offer social skills groups. These include college students with autistic traits, young adults with autism, women who identify as neurodiverse, a mother’s group, and an online parent support group. Please feel free to visit our Autism Resources page for info and helpful resources. Learn more about our services by reaching out or visiting our blog today!
About Tasha Oswald Ph.D. and Her Team
Meet Dr. Tasha Oswald, Ph.D.. She is a licensed psychologist (#30423) and the Founder and Director of Open Doors Therapy and Neurodiversity School. With over 15 years of experience in developmental and clinical psychology, Dr. Oswald specializes in supporting individuals who receive late-in-life autism diagnoses. Her passion for empowering neurodiverse individuals is reflected in the compassionate and effective therapy provided by her dedicated team. At Open Doors Therapy, together they create a safe and nurturing environment for self-awareness, self-affirmation, and personal growth. They will help you embrace your neurodiversity and thrive on your unique journey of self-discovery.
