You want to do everything you can to support your neurodiverse child. That is why you’re here reading this blog, educating yourself, and seeking the skills to be a great parent for your child. I’ve worked with many parents and families of autistic children, teens, and adults. And I’ve been able to see so many people put in the work to learn more and become a better parent for their child. But through this process, I’ve seen many parents become discouraged that they didn’t “know better” earlier.
Acknowledging that you’re doing your best as a parent for your neurodiverse child is an incredible feat.
It’s easy to be hard on yourself and believe that you’re not a good parent because you didn’t have this knowledge or skillset earlier. As parents (and as people) it is important to recognize that none of us possess the capacity to always say and do the right thing. So before we begin diving into the ways you can become a more neurodiverse-affirming parent for your child, let’s take a moment to acknowledge the work you’ve put in already.
Here’s a quick meditation our team has created for accessing self-compassion around your job of parenting a child with unique needs.
- Take in some nice deep breaths allowing the air to fill up your chest and slowly release.
- Take a moment to acknowledge how challenging it can be to decide what’s best for your child. There are so many factors you are considering every time you think of helping your child, and you may feel tremendous pressure to support your child and do the “right thing”.
- This worry and pressure you feel may shape the way you offer help to your child or where and when you offer help.
- Not only is your child navigating many complexities as they emerge into adulthood, but as their primary caregiver, you are navigating many complex layers as you decide how to help your child.
- Take a moment to express some appreciation for all the thoughtfulness, care, and energy that are involved in the complexities of parenting.
- Thank yourself for your care and concern for your child. For your steadfast dedication to helping your child grow and succeed.
- Acknowledge that as a parent, you might not get a lot of appreciation from others for the extraordinary love and effort you put into raising your child or children.
- Take a moment now to give yourself a hug or warm pat on the back.
- When you feel ready, take some nice deep breaths and slowly begin to orient yourself outward again. Maybe wiggle your fingers, or do some stretches.
- Be still for a minute to savor the experience.
Now that you’ve acknowledged the work you’ve put into being a great parent for your child, we can discuss the ways you can continue to be a neurodiverse-affirming parent.
Continuing your education as a parent of an autistic child.
If you’re reading this blog, you’ve probably already spent a fair amount of time educating yourself about autism and neurodiversity. And as a result, you’re most likely already aware of the unfortunate truth that there is a lot of misinformation about autism out there. Information that your child could access.
This is why it’s so important to continue your education and learn accurate information from autism experts and the neurodiverse community.
Not only to provide yourself with accurate information but so you can provide your child with accurate information as well.
Information from other autistic individuals is an amazing resource for yourself and your child. Learning from autism-led communities can allow you to gain perspective that you can’t elsewhere. For example, if you have questions about neurodiverse-affirming language or labels, listen to what the neurodiverse community has to say. A parent or ally-led resources are great, but learning directly from autism-led communities is invaluable!
In addition to the insight this can give you, this is also important for your child. Reading (or hearing) perspectives from other autistic individuals that your child can really relate to can help them feel seen, heard, and validated. It can give them the language they didn’t have before to understand and express their needs.
Which leads right to the power of representation.
As I mentioned, there is a lot of misinformation about autism out there. And unfortunately, this has resulted in a lack of “real” representation of autistic individuals in the media. When autism is represented on screen, it is often a one-dimensional stereotype of autism. And autistic characters are rarely portrayed by autistic individuals themselves. This can be detrimental for neurodiverse children and teens who never see themselves represented in a positive light on the screen.
By providing your child or teen with representation of other autistic children, teens, and adults, you can show them autistic individuals who are proud and passionate about their life.
This could be through following people on social media who are autistic. Or, through reading books and blogs written by autistic individuals. It could mean watching movies or tv shows that feature neurodiverse actors. And if you have the opportunity, it could be attending a presentation from a neurodiverse speaker.
Providing a range of representation for your child can not only help them feel seen and understood, but it can also help them see the limitless possibilities for their future.
However, it’s important to keep in mind where your child is at in this process.
As a parent and advocate, it can be easy to get swept up in doing the right things. However, it’s essential to be mindful of your child’s individual experiences and respect where they are in their journey. Understand that while learning more about autism is really powerful for you as a parent, your child may not be interested in surrounding themselves with media or representations about autism. Remember that they are living it, so while it’s great to give them the opportunity to learn or see more, you shouldn’t push it on them.
Listen to and honor where they’re at.
If you, your family, or your child want support, seek out neurodiverse-affirming resources.
Finding neurodiverse-affirming resources for yourself, your family, and/or your child is so important when raising a neurodiverse child. There is an endless array of possibilities to do so. Look into local groups that allow neurodiverse people to connect with each other and learn from each other’s experiences. Consider individual therapy or coaching services for your child or teen. This can provide a private space in which they can openly process and explore their neurodiversity.
As a parent, remember to also seek support for yourself!
Participating in parent or parents and teens group sessions can help you understand neurodiversity from many different angles. Look into individual therapy for parents too; this allows a compassionate space to openly share what you experience when parenting a neurodiverse child. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Are you interested in working with a neurodiverse-affirming therapist or coach?
At Open Doors Therapy, we offer a range of services tailored to neurodiverse teens, adults, and their families. If you’re interested in learning more about our team, our services, and which may be right for your family, you can follow these steps to gain more information:
- Reach out to our autism therapy practice and schedule a free phone consultation.
- Learn more about our services and which may be best for you or your child.
- Gain support from neurodiverse-affirming therapists and coaches for yourself and/or your child
Other Services Offered With Open Doors Therapy
At our practice, we offer neurodiversity-affirming therapy to teens, adults, and their families located in California and Illinois. However, therapy isn’t the only service we offer at Open Doors Therapy.
We also offer many different online groups. These are a great way to learn more about your neurodiverse identity in a group of others who understand your experiences. Our team offers groups that are tailored towards teens, young adults, LGBTQIA+ individuals, women, parents, and other communities as well.
And we offer neurodiverse-affirming coaching services as well which are open to people who are located outside of California and Illinois. Are you interested in learning more about our services and which may be the best for you? If so, you can reach out to our autism therapy practice to schedule a free phone consultation.
