*August 2023 Update:*
When this blog was initially written, we used the term “high-functioning autism” since this was commonly used at the time. As time has changed, this term is now understood to be outdated, misleading, and harmful. This was previously used to describe individuals with autism who displayed relatively strong verbal and cognitive abilities. The term “high-functioning autism” has fallen out of favor in clinical and research settings due to its oversimplification of the diverse experiences and challenges that individuals on the autism spectrum face. It failed to capture the full spectrum of strengths and difficulties and often neglected the unique needs of each person. Today, experts emphasize a more holistic and person-centered approach, acknowledging the wide variation in abilities and needs among individuals with autism, and avoiding labels that may perpetuate misconceptions or undermine the complexity of this condition.
Many individuals with high-functioning autism are diagnosed later in life.
Their neurodiversity often goes unnoticed due to average or higher-than-average intellect. Furthermore, in order to fit in many individuals with autism work very hard to mask or hide their autistic traits. And, when they do exhibit them, they are dismissed as being quirks or symptoms of other mental health or behavioral concerns.
Unfortunately, being misdiagnosed or diagnosed later in life, causes many individuals with autism to feel extremely misunderstood. In fact, many of my clients say they feel a profound sense of relief they feel when they are finally given an ASD diagnosis. It’s like being given a missing piece to a puzzle you’ve been working hard to complete.
Although you feel relief, you may be wondering “What now?” I have a diagnosis, but how exactly does that change my life? Does it change who I am? Today, I want to explore some ways you can move forward after receiving an autism spectrum diagnosis to maximize happiness and success in your life.
Your Autism is What Makes You Unique
First, an ASD diagnosis in no way changes who you are. It does not make you any less amazing than you were before. Your neurodiversity is just one characteristic of yourself that sets you apart from everyone else. It’s what makes you UNIQUE. Unfortunately, many neurodiverse individuals experience a variety of different microaggressions or traumas throughout their lives. They are often bullied or taken advantage of. Often, their sensitivities or challenges are dismissed. This makes them feel very othered and different. Perhaps, you longed to fit in so you tried to hide these parts of yourself and conform to the world around you. So, you may have felt shame over not quite fitting in with your peers.
Overcoming the Stigma Associated with an Autism Diagnosis
Perhaps, you worry about having an autism diagnosis and being labeled as autistic or neurodiverse. However, that label does not define you as a person. It helps you make sense of the challenges you’ve experienced thus far in your life. And, having autism doesn’t carry the same stigma that it did even twenty years ago. Now, professionals have a better understanding of what it means to be autistic. Furthermore, thanks to the recent neurodiversity movement, society is understanding ASD as differences in the way your brain works. These differences are due to human variation. And, they are normal, they are not deficits.
Disclosing Your Autism to Others
I frequently hear that receiving an autism diagnosis provided a sense of calmness. After all less confusion about who you are and why you acting that way leads to less stress. You aren’t left with lingering questions about why it’s so hard for you to fit in, have a conversation, or why certain sensory things make you really uncomfortable.
Now, you have to decide if and how to disclose your autism to others. If you’re an adult, this decision is totally up to you. If you’re under the age of eighteen, it’s up to your parents to decide. Often this decision is made to receive an IEP or individualized education plan. Regardless, the therapists at Open Doors Therapy, encourage you to disclose your autism when it’s appropriate. We call this a mini-disclosure. Over time, you will learn how to disclose your autism so others can assist you in being the best you can be.
So, what’s next? What you can do to maximize your success as an individual with autism.
Now that you have a diagnosis, there are a few things you can do to better your life. First, listen inward. Perhaps, you’ve spent most of your life being invalidated by others. So, you always second-guess yourself or question your feelings. You’ve tried to fit in or please others. Somewhere along the way you’ve lost sight of who you are.
Trust your inner wisdom
It’s important to listen to your inner voice. For instance, when you talk to someone and you suddenly notice a pain in your stomach or your heart rate increases, that’s your body giving you important information. So, take a moment and pause to process what’s happening. Maybe, the person said something that felt dismissive to you. Their behavior hurts your feelings. Perhaps, you usually would have ignored it and tried to appease the person. But, as you become more self-aware, you can bring yourself compassion. So, rather than hiding from yourself, you care for yourself. Communicate with the person about how they hurt your feelings. This is an essential skill for building long-lasting and well-balanced relationships.
Build a Support Network
Remember, you’re not alone. Build up a support network. This could include a support or social skills group, an autistic friend, a friend or family member who learns about autism with you, or an individual therapist who specializes in neurodiversity and can help you process your autism identity. Also, they can help you process any other challenges, such as social anxiety or trauma, and help you reduce the distress in your life. Ultimately, getting this support and learning these skills will improve your quality of life.
Join the Open Doors Therapy Community to Learn More About Neurodiversity
As a therapist who specializes in ASD, I am taking strides toward advancing services and programs tailored to neurodiverse women. Through my blogs, newsletters, and Facebook and Twitter posts, I provide educational information and support to autistic women. And, you might find some of my resources helpful. Furthermore, you’re also welcome to visit our contact page and fill out the service interest form. This allows me to learn more about the needs of the community so that I can tailor my services in the future to helping neurodiverse individuals across the United States.
Accept your ASD diagnosis and Learn More About It
Another really important thing you can do is learn more about autism and neurodiversity. I suggest reading books or blogs about autism. Or, listen to first-hand accounts of having autism. As an autism researcher, I wanted to offer you some places to gain some insight into autism.
Online Resources
Psychology Today, Good Therapy, and Therapy Den have a directory of licensed mental health professionals. So, you can filter your search by city, specialty, insurance, and type of service (telehealth, group therapy, individual counseling, etc.)
Autism Spectrum News provides scientific information and community resources on autism. And, you can browse articles by topic.
Girls and Women with Autism
Autism Empowerment is a nonprofit organization. And, its website includes a list of books about girls and women with autism.
For autistic women located in New York, Felicity House offers a social community space just for women with autism. And, because of the COVID-19 pandemic, Felicity House is also offering online resources for women with autism.
Disclosure & common types of accommodations and ADA rights
https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/guidance/your-employment-rights-individual-disability
Book Recommendations:
Autistic Children
10 Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew
The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome, by Tony Attwood
Autistic Adults
Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity
I Think I Might Be Autistic: A Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis and Self-Discovery for Adults
Asperger’s and Adulthood, A Guide to Working, Loving, and Living with Asperger’s Syndrome
Understanding Autism in Adults and Aging Adults
College on the Autism Spectrum, by Laurie Leventhal-Belfer
Autistic Girls/Women
Camouflage the Hidden Lives of Autistic Women (I think this is an excellent book and is insightful for autistic people in general, not just women)
Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder Understanding Life Experiences from Early Childhood to Old Age
The Spectrum Girl’s Survival Guide How to Grow Up Awesome and Autistic
Spectrum Women Walking to the Beat of Autism
Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate A User Guide to An Asperger Life
Highly Sensitive
Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students
Parenting Gifted Children 101: An Introduction to Gifted Kids and Their Needs
Autism and Gender Identity
Supporting Transgender Autistic Youth and Adults A Guide for Professionals and Families
Neurodiversity
Divergent Mind, Thriving in a World that Wasn’t Designed for You
Neurotribes, The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity
Begin Online Autism Therapy in California:
If you live in California and are looking for support and resources, please contact us. Our team of therapists would be honored to work with you. To begin online therapy in California, follow these steps:
- Contact us for a free phone consultation using this link. You will meet with our care coordinator.
- Like us on Facebook. On our page, we post useful information about our practice
- Sign up to receive our newsletter.
Autism Therapy Services offered at Open Doors Therapy:
Our autism therapy clinic located in the South Bay Area serves teens and adults on the autism spectrum. We help high-functioning individuals who identify as having Aspergers, high-functioning autism, or undiagnosed ASD traits, and their families.
Right now, we are providing all our autism counseling services online. Our autism therapists offer a variety of counseling services including individual counseling for autistic teens and adults, parent counseling, and group therapy. Also, we run several different social skills groups for neurodiverse working professionals, college students with autistic traits, gifted youth & caregivers, neurodiverse adults, women who identify as neurodiverse, a summer social skills college transition training program for youth transitioning to college, teens & caregivers, and a mothers group. Contact our autism therapy office for more information on our services or to schedule a consultation.
About the Author
Dr. Tasha Oswald is a trained developmental and clinical psychologist. She is also is the founder and director of Open Doors Therapy, a private practice specializing in autism therapy services in the South Bay Area, near San Francisco, CA. Dr. Oswald specializes in helping neurodiverse teens and adults and facilitating social skills groups.
