
Shame is a powerful emotion. It can cause us to doubt ourselves, hide who we are, and feel disconnected from the world around us.
Shame is hard for anyone to deal with, but it can be especially challenging for those who face prejudice or discrimination due to their identity (or identities). This is why LGBTQIA+ people on the autism spectrum often experience shame in a unique and difficult way.
When you grow up with messages that who you are doesn’t “fit” with the world’s expectations, it’s easy to adopt that idea yourself as an autistic person.
Being LGBTQIA+ and neurodiverse, you may feel bombarded by messages that all parts of you are “wrong”. Or, that how you think, feel, and express yourself is something that you should be ashamed of. It may be through themes in television shows. Or, remarks from your peers, and negative attitudes from family members. Regardless, these messages can be detrimental.
After being subjected to shame from the outside world, you can start believing that something is wrong with parts of who you are. You may start masking your self-expression. Or traits associated with your neurodiversity and LGBTQIA+ identity, to avoid rejection.
Even when you learn that there’s nothing wrong with you and that our culture and lack of understanding is the problem, shame can still linger.
The process of overcoming shame and learning to have compassion and acceptance for yourself is not easy. And it can be even more challenging to untangle yourself from shame when it feels wrapped around more than one part of your identity.
You may feel like you’ve come to accept and love yourself as an LGBTQIA+ individual. But, you then feel confused about your neurodiversity. Or, you may have come to understand and appreciate your neurodiversity, but still struggle with self-love and acceptance as an LGBTQIA+ person. LGBTQIA+ and autistic identities intersect in many ways. As a result, exploring and working on shame around both parts of your identity can be helpful.
There are many ways that you can work on overcoming the shame that you may feel as an LGBTQIA+ autistic individual.
One way is to learn more about your intersecting identities.
The more knowledge you have about your identities and experiences the easier it will be to understand and fully accept yourself. There is more information out there about neurodiversity and LGBTQIA+ identities than there has ever been before. But, there still isn’t too much dedicated to the intersection between those two identities. This can make it hard to feel validated in your experiences.
This is why finding a community with people who understand your experience is so important.
Getting to hear other LGBTQIA+ autistic people’s experiences, and sharing your own, can be very affirming. When you feel seen and affirmed by others, it’s easier to see and accept yourself. Engaging in spaces dedicated to LGBTQIA+ neurodiverse people can help you feel less alone, and more connected to yourself and others. It can also empower you to become compassionate and accepting of yourself.
Self-compassion and acceptance are essential to healing shame.
Shame thrives in environments where self-love and understanding are lacking. So, when you start to question your shame and give yourself compassion instead, you take away its power.
Learning to live more authentically, without masking any parts of yourself, is a process that takes time and work. But, it’s certainly worth it to feel more connected to yourself and your authentic experience. If you need support through that journey, that’s okay! Our team is here to empower and support you in whatever way you need.
We offer LGBT support groups for adults and therapy for LGBTQIA+ autistic individuals.
If you’re struggling to overcome shame as an LGBTQIA+ neurodiverse individual, please know that you don’t have to navigate this on your own. We have therapists on our team who specialize in working with LGBTQIA+ neurodiverse people. Plus, our team offers online therapy so you can access support from the comfort of your home.
But, we also offer an online group for LGBTQIA+ neurodiverse individuals!
Listening to the perspectives of others who actually understand your experiences can help you understand and accept yourself more fully. In our online group, you’ll be able to explore your identity as an LGBTQIA+ neurodiverse person. We’ll discuss topics such as masking and how you can express yourself more authentically.
If you’re interested in being a part of our next group, you can:
- Read more about our online group for neurodiverse and LGBTQIA+ individuals
- Contact our team to schedule a free consultation call and see if the group is the right fit for you.
- Gain an understanding of your identities and empowerment to live more authentically
Other Services Offered with Open Doors Therapy
LGBTQIA+ groups for autistic individuals aren’t the only service we offer. Our team understands there are a variety of unique concerns that face neurodiverse individuals. This is why we are happy to offer a variety of services from our California-based practice. These services include support for those with Asperger’s, high functioning autism, undiagnosed autism traits, and more. We also offer individual therapy, parent counseling, and group therapy.
In addition, we also offer social skills groups. These include college students with autistic traits, young adults with autism, neurodiverse adults, women who identify as neurodiverse, a mother’s group, and an online parent support group. Please feel free to visit our Autism Resources page for info and helpful resources. Learn more about our services by reaching out or visiting our blog today!