
When your loved ones receive a late-life Autism diagnosis, it can be an overwhelming and confusing time for them. They are now able to make sense of their life experiences in a new way. You may also be coming to terms with the diagnosis for yourself, but it is important to remember that this is a time of celebration and understanding for your loved ones. That this is a time of growth and self-knowledge.
Being there for your loved one and offering your support in an affirming and validating way can be incredibly helpful. Maybe you’ve never heard of Autism, interacted with Autism, or know what it means for your family. As long as you are open, willing to learn, and validating your loved one’s journey, it will have an incredible impact.
Be Open to Learning About Autism
Maybe you are someone who knows a bit about Autism, could learn more, or are unfamiliar with it entirely. Take time to learn more about Autism and how it impacts your loved one. This can include reading articles, watching TED Talks or documentaries, listening to podcasts, or talking with a specialist. Taking the time and effort to learn more will show how much you value your loved one’s journey and help provide them with a supportive environment.
Go with Them to Medical Appointments
Medical appointments can be an overwhelming experience for your loved ones. For example, when going to get an Autistic diagnosis it can take up to 5+ hours and they will need others to give their point of view. You going with your loved one to show support and also advocate on their behalf can be incredibly beneficial. While you’re there you can also learn more about their diagnosis and the treatment options available. It also shows your loved one that you are taking their journey and diagnosis seriously.
Learning What Your Loved One Needs
Being open to learning is a key factor in understanding how you can best support your loved one during this time. When they are first diagnosed, your first instinct may be to do what individuals do when others receive a medical diagnosis say, “You seem fine” or “You don’t seem…” In this instance, saying “You don’t seem Autistic” can be invalidating and hurtful. You may have good intentions where you are aiming to help them but in turn, all you are saying is that they are masking well.
Masking is a common phenomenon among Autistic individuals, where they suppress the expression of their Autistic traits to fit into a neurotypical world. This is an incredibly draining and tiring process, so try to be understanding and don’t add to the pressure. Your loved one’s needs may vary, and it is important to make sure you are actively listening and paying attention. Ask your loved one what they need or how they would like to be supported during this time. Don’t assume you know the best way to help, simply ask and be open to whatever they say.
Understand the Value of Your Loved One’s Neurodiverse Community
Your loved one may find a neurodiverse or autistic community, and it is important to understand the value of this for them. It can be a safe space where they feel accepted and understood by others who share in their experience or have similar struggles. It may be hard to wrap your head around why this is so important for them but try to understand that they need this space to find people who understand them and share their journey.
Furthermore, it is important that you don’t feel bad or that you’re not a part of this community. Your loved one has something unique that they can offer and gain from this experience, so try to be supportive and understanding. If your loved one does not have a community, one way to support them is by helping them find one. This way you can take part in this experience with them and help them find the support they need.
Addressing Ableism
You may have seen this term before, but what is ableism? Ableism is a form of discrimination or prejudice against individuals with disabilities. This often refers to an unconscious bias or assumption that individuals without disabilities are better off, smarter, or more capable than those with disabilities. It’s important to be aware of this and how it affects your loved one. Also be aware of any behaviors, thoughts, or beliefs you may have that could be seen as ableist. When talking with your loved one, make sure to use the right language and words to avoid being ableist.
This means listening and understanding how your loved one identifies themselves, using person-first language when talking about disabilities, and not speaking for someone who is Autistic. Talk with your loved one to see if there are ways you can improve or if there are any words or phrases that could be triggering. By being aware of ableism and addressing it, you can help create a more understanding and welcoming environment.
Learn About Masking
As I mentioned above, masking is a common phenomenon among Autistic individuals. It is the process of suppressing the expression of their Autistic traits to fit into a neurotypical world, but an issue that loved ones such as parents need to learn about and address. Discuss with your loved one what masking looks like for them, how it impacts their life, and the toll it takes on their health and well-being. Talk about how you can help create a safe and supportive environment where they don’t have to mask.
Often, autistic individuals feel as if they have to mask for their parents, due to the parents’ own fears of not fitting in or succeeding in life. Remind your loved one that you accept them for who they are, and offer them a safe space to express themselves. Offer understanding and compassion and be a neurodivergent-affirming role model for your loved one.
By understanding your loved one’s journey, and being open to learning about Autism, you are creating an environment for them to feel safe and accepted. You are showing your love and support for them during this time, which is invaluable. They are adjusting to their diagnosis and it will take time, but you are there for them every step of the way. Even if they are embracing a self-diagnosis, your respect and understanding will make a world of difference.
Want to Learn More About Late Autism Diagnosis in California?
Learning more to support your loved one is one of the most validating and important things you can do for them. Becoming a neurodivergent-affirming role model, addressing ableism, and understanding the value of neurodiverse communities are all integral steps in the process. At Open Doors Therapy, we offer a range of services and resources that are tailored to the individual needs of neurodiverse individuals and their families. If you’re interested in learning more about our team, our services, and which may be right for you, you can follow these steps to gain more information:
- Reach out to our autism therapy practice and schedule a free phone consultation.
- Learn more about our services and which may be best for you or your child
- Start validating your loved one and their journey with Open Doors Therapy!
Other Services Offered with Open Doors Therapy
Our team understands you may want to know more about how we can help your loved one. In addition to providing invaluable resources and support regarding late autism diagnosis in California, Open Doors Therapy also offers services to help your loved one with challenges they may be facing. This is why our California-based practice is happy to offer a variety of services in support of your mental health. We also offer individual therapy, parent counseling, and group therapy. In addition, we also offer social skills groups. These include college students with autistic traits, young adults with autism, women who identify as neurodiverse, a mother’s group, and an online parent support group. Please feel free to visit our Autism Resources page for info and helpful resources. Learn more about our services by reaching out or visiting our blog today!
About Tasha Oswald Ph.D. and Her Team
Meet Dr. Tasha Oswald, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist (#30423), and the Founder and Director of Open Doors Therapy and Neurodiversity School. With over 15 years of expertise in developmental and clinical psychology, cognitive neuroscience, and a deep commitment to supporting neurodiverse individuals, Dr. Oswald leads a dedicated team at Open Doors Therapy. Their compassionate services are designed to empower individuals on the autism spectrum and their families, particularly those seeking support for loved ones with late-life autism diagnoses. Dr. Oswald specializes in assisting autistic individuals in overcoming imposter syndrome and thriving in their careers. By fostering personal and professional growth, Dr. Oswald and her team create a supportive environment where neurodiverse individuals can unlock their full potential. Experience compassionate care and personalized guidance by connecting with Open Doors Therapy today.