Welcome back to our blog series on autism and trauma.
We’ve discussed how autistic individuals may experience trauma from feeling forced to hide (“mask”) who they are in order to fit in. Also, we’ve discussed the major role bullying plays in causing trauma. Today, I would like to talk about sensory sensitivities and how gaslighting and invalidating an autistic individual’s experiences may cause them to feel traumatized.
Most individuals with Autism Have Sensory Sensitivities Which Can Be Traumatic
Most people with autism have hypersensitivities. In fact, research shows that up to 90 percent of people with autism are highly sensitive to either sound, sight, taste, smell, or touch. Living in a world that isn’t designed to respect these sensitivities is traumatic. And so is the gaslighting many autistic teens and adults experience when they explain these sensitivities to neurotypicals.
Being hypersensitive causes your nervous system to operate at an extreme level all the time. It is like a trauma response. You are hypervigilant (being on guard for danger) and hyperaroused. You may try to avoid things related to your triggers. You’re always on the lookout for things that trigger your sensory sensitivities. Perhaps, you feel overwhelmed or have panic attacks when you encounter triggers. Or, you get angry and rage/have autistic meltdowns. It’s understandable that you may dread and avoid triggers, but it can lead you to miss out on great opportunities and experiences in life. This may make you feel very limited, resentful, and cut off from others.
Gaslighting Causes Further Trauma
Many neurotypicals struggle to understand sensory sensitivities and may not be sympathetic to your struggles. Even if you try and explain it to them, they may gaslight you. Gaslighting is defined as emotional abuse. Gaslighting happens when a person intentionally manipulates you into questioning your own reality in order to have power over you.
From my experience, I find that most people are not trying to gaslight autistic people. Rather, people just don’t understand autism. They can’t wrap their heads around what life is like for an autistic person. They see life through a neurotypical lens. This causes them to make judgements based on what is neurotypical. So, they might invalidate an autistic person by saying, “you’re being overly sensitive” or “dramatic.” Or perhaps, they tell you to “tough it out” or “don’t worry about it.” Many times, they do not mean to upset you and cause you further trauma, it’s just a lack of understanding and education on neurodiversity.
Whether they are trying to gaslight you or just unintentionally invalidate you because they don’t understand autism, either can cause you trauma.
Sensory Sensitivities Can Cause Misunderstandings
For some individuals with sensory sensitivities, it may be hard for them to concentrate on anything other than what’s causing them discomfort. If they become overly stimulated they may shut down, become frustrated, emotional, or agitated. I imagine having a sensory sensitivity is like living with the volume turned all the way up, yet you are expected to function fine and go about your day to day life. That would not only exhaust me but it would make me feel irritable and frustrated as well. So, it’s no wonder why many autistic individuals experience sensory overload and either withdraw or meltdown.
Some neurotypicals may incorrectly assume that an individual with autism is ignoring them, being rude, or is simply off in another world. This kind of misinterpretation may be frustrating for an autistic person. That’s understandable. Unfortunately, these misunderstandings may happen frequently. They may cause conflict at home, at school, in the workplace, and in relationships. Continual misunderstandings and invalidation can be traumatic for an autistic person.
The Power of a Mini-Disclosure When You’re on The Autism Spectrum
To prevent misunderstandings like this from occurring, I suggest you offer a mini-disclosure. I know I discussed this last week in our blog on bullying, but I would like to revisit it again because it is THAT important. A mini-disclosure doesn’t necessarily mean you tell the world that you’re on the autism spectrum. But it does offer an explanation of your behavior, which can help prevent misunderstandings and problems from occurring. A mini-disclosure is composed of steps:
- Explain your behavior
- After a long day at school, I need to go home and rest.
- Explain what that behavior means
- I just need time to regroup and recharge my social battery.
- Request support
- If you hear someone talking about how I am being rude by not hanging out. Please validate my choices and share that you support or understand why I can’t hangout.
- Share what you like about your relationship.
- I really like being your friend and appreciate your understanding.
Individual and Group Therapy for Autism and Trauma in California
If you’re struggling with the trauma of being misunderstood and have experienced gaslighting due to your sensory sensitivities, online autism therapy can help. We have trauma-informed therapists on staff who specialize in helping neurodiverse individuals learn to manage their sensory overload and overcome the trauma they’re experiencing. We offer online individual autism therapy as well as online autism group therapy to individuals living in the state of California.
Begin Online Autism Therapy:
Autism and hypersensitivity go hand-in-hand, just like autism and trauma. We understand how challenging it can be to face these alone. At Open Doors Therapy based in Palo Alto, CA our therapists are skilled at helping high-functioning neurodiverse individuals cope with challenges such as these so they can thrive. To begin online autism therapy in California, follow these steps:
- Contact us for a free 30-minute phone consultation using this link. You will meet with one of our autism therapists.
- Like us on Facebook. On our page, we post useful information about our autism therapy clinic.
- Sign up to receive our newsletter.
Autism Therapy Services offered at Open Doors Therapy:
Our autism therapy clinic located in the South Bay Area serves teens and adults on the autism spectrum. We help high functioning individuals who identify as having Aspergers, high functioning autism, undiagnosed autism traits, and their families.
Right now, we are providing all our autism counseling services online. Our autism therapists offer a variety of autism services including individual counseling for autistic teens and adults, parent counseling, and group therapy. Also, we run several different social skills groups for neurodiverse working professionals, college students with autistic traits, gifted youth & caregivers, autistic adults, women who identify as neurodiverse, a summer social skills college transition training program for youth transitioning to college, teens & caregivers, and a mothers group. Contact our autism therapy office for more information on our services or to schedule a consultation.
About the Author
Dr. Tasha Oswald is a trained developmental and clinical psychologist. She is also is the founder and director of Open Doors Therapy, a private practice specializing in autism therapy services in the South Bay Area, near San Francisco, CA. Dr. Oswald specializes in helping neurodiverse teens and adults and facilitating social skills groups.