Autism is a type of neurodiversity that is often diagnosed in childhood. However, many adults also experience symptoms of autism but may not have been identified or diagnosed earlier in life. You may have been misdiagnosed with other conditions, such as ADHD or anxiety. This is common for adults with autism, as the signs and symptoms may present differently in adulthood compared to childhood.
You have had suspicions that you are autistic, but you’re not sure. You may have noticed that you struggle with social interactions and reading social cues. Or, you may find it challenging to maintain eye contact and engage in small talk. This adult autism checklist can help you identify the signs of autism in adults.
Difficulties with Social Interactions
You’ve noticed that you struggle in social interactions or situations. It takes you time to process what others are saying or how to respond appropriately. You may also have difficulties with nonverbal communication, such as understanding body language and facial expressions. It’s hard for you to know if someone is angry, happy, or sad based on their nonverbal cues.
You’ve often had people think you are being difficult or rude when you are just trying to understand and communicate effectively. Often, you are just communicating in a straightforward manner without intending to be rude or offensive. This can lead to misunderstandings and difficulties in forming relationships. Your neurotypical peers don’t understand why you don’t pick up on social cues easily and may not be as patient with you.
Some situations you may have found yourself in are:
- Feeling overwhelmed and anxious in large group settings, such as parties or gatherings.
- Having difficulty initiating and sustaining meaningful friendships or connections with others.
- Unclear about what is considered appropriate behavior in various social situations, leads to uncertainty and discomfort.
- Struggling to interpret and respond to social cues and nonverbal communication, often results in misunderstandings and awkward encounters.
At times, this may lead you to feel broken, misunderstood, and isolated. But remember, your brain is wired differently. This is not something to be ashamed of or to try to change. It’s a beautiful part of your unique identity. The world is not designed for neurodiverse individuals, but that doesn’t mean you can’t thrive and find your place within it. For example, working with a neurodivergent affirming therapist in Orange County, Santa Monica, Garden Grove, Beverly Hills, or Irvine, CA can help you navigate this neurotypical world and find coping strategies that work for you.
Things that You Might Hear if You’re Autistic
- “You’re overreacting to this situation.”
- “Just try harder to fit in with the group.”
- “Why do you need to stick to a strict routine?”
- “I don’t understand why certain specific things bother you so much.”
- “Why can’t you just make direct eye contact?”
- “You seem distant and uninterested in what’s going on around you.”
These statements are just a few that you may have heard. But they are invalidating and dismissive of your experiences and struggles. Finding a community and support system for other autistic adults can provide a sense of belonging and understanding. Or working with a neurodivergent affirming therapist can help you work through past experiences of feeling misunderstood and develop strategies for self-advocacy.
Sensory Overload and Sensitivities
Fabrics, sounds, lights, and smells are all things that might trigger you. Tags on the inside of your shirts may make you feel like you’re being pricked constantly. When you’re at concerts, gatherings, or other loud environments, you may become easily overwhelmed and feel the need to escape. You might also have sensitivities to certain textures, tastes, or smells.
These can range from mild annoyances to causing physical discomfort and distress. For example, you may not be able to tolerate certain food textures or strong scents. Or, you might prefer certain clothing because it makes you feel more comfortable and secure. These sensitivities can make everyday tasks, such as grocery shopping, going to work, shopping for clothing, and other everyday activities more challenging. When you’re overwhelmed by sensory input, you may find yourself shutting down, melting down, or feeling burnt out.
These situations can look like:
- Feeling overwhelmed and distressed in crowded, noisy environments, such as busy shopping malls or loud parties.
- Struggling to tolerate certain textures, tastes, or smells, resulting in avoiding certain foods, fabrics, or scents.
- Becoming easily overstimulated and needing time alone to recharge and process sensory input, especially after busy or chaotic events.
- Feeling frustrated when others don’t understand your sensitivities or dismiss them as “overreacting,” causes feelings of isolation and invalidation.
When your senses are overloaded, it can be challenging to function and navigate the world around you. But remember, these sensitivities are part of your unique experience as an autistic adult. They may present challenges, but they also give you a unique perspective and understanding of the world. Finding coping mechanisms, such as weighted objects, swings, swaddles, or noise-canceling headphones, can help you manage sensory overload and navigate the world in a way that works best for you. Plus, working with an autism therapist in Santa Monica or Garden Grove, CA can help you better understand and manage your sensory sensitivities.
Repetitive Behaviors and Special Interests
Does the idea of routine and structure make you feel calm and in control? Do you have specific interests that you are extremely passionate about and spend a lot of time learning and talking about? If you’ve answered yes, these can be indicators of autism in adults. Many autistic adults find comfort in routine and structure, while also having intense interests that they can spend hours researching and discussing.
Stimming is a part of this and typically refers to self-stimulatory behaviors that can help regulate sensory input. For example, hand-flapping, pacing, and rocking are common ways individuals may stim. These behaviors can also be a way to express excitement or joy and can help your body and mind feel calm and comfortable when feeling overwhelmed.
These behaviors may present themselves as:
- Establishing structured daily routines or rituals, such as waking up at a specific time and following a set schedule, to cultivate a sense of organization and tranquility.
- Demonstrating profound passion and expertise in a particular subject or area, often perceived as “obsessive” by others due to your extensive knowledge and dedication.
- Utilizing repetitive behaviors, such as hand-flapping or rocking, as self-regulation techniques to manage stress or intense emotions effectively.
- Experiencing distress or anxiety when faced with disruptions to your routine or inability to engage in your special interests.
- Engaging in repetitive actions like tapping or counting can help you maintain focus and find calmness during stressful situations.
It’s important to recognize that these repetitive behaviors are not just habits but coping mechanisms that serve a crucial purpose for you. While others might not always understand, due to their lack of knowledge or perspective, it’s important to show yourself compassion. You deserve to feel comfortable and at ease in your own skin, whether that means engaging in repetitive behaviors or pursuing your interests with passion and dedication. Be gentle with yourself and remember, these behaviors are a part of your unique identity as an autistic adult. If you’re looking for ways to explain your needs to those around you, an autism therapist can be of great assistance. It can hep offer you strategies to communicate your experiences and establish boundaries that others can respect.
Autistic Burnout
Autistic burnout is an overwhelming state of physical and emotional exhaustion that can result in withdrawal and the adoption of coping mechanisms. It is a consequence of constantly navigating a neurotypical world without adequate support. The world is not always neurodivergent affirming and this can build up over time, leading to burnout.
Signs of autistic burnout include:
- Experiencing a constant sense of fatigue and mental exhaustion, making it hard to function.
- Struggling to manage emotions and feeling highly sensitive to sensory stimuli.
- Lacking motivation and finding it challenging to carry out tasks or enjoy previously pleasurable activities.
- Reliance on coping mechanisms, such as avoiding social interactions or engaging in excessive stimming behavior.
- Becoming irritable, easily frustrated, and experiencing difficulty with processing information.
- Feeling disconnected from your true self and struggling to find joy or meaning in daily activities.
Recognizing autistic burnout matters. It can affect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It’s your body and mind’s way of saying, “I need a break; this is too much for me.” Neurotypical individuals may not understand this or dismiss it as laziness or lack of motivation. However, it’s essential to listen to your body and mind and recognize when you need to take a step back and prioritize self-care. Your brain is wired differently, and that’s okay. You deserve understanding and support, not judgment and criticism. Remember that your worth is not defined by societal norms or expectations but by your unique strengths, experiences, and perspective.
Masking
Masking is like putting on a mask to fit in with those who don’t understand neurodiversity. Society often tells people who are autistic or neurodivergent that they need to “act normal” or hide their true selves. This can lead to the adoption of masking techniques, where individuals consciously suppress autistic traits and behaviors in certain situations or environments. While this may seem like a necessary survival strategy, it can be exhausting and detrimental to one’s self-esteem and sense of belonging.
Masking may involve:
- Mimicking social cues and behaviors of neurotypical individuals in social situations, even if they don’t come naturally or feel comfortable, such as making eye contact and using appropriate body language.
- Avoid discussing specific interests or showing intense emotions to avoid being perceived as “odd” or “weird.”
- Suppressing stimming behavior, such as hand-flapping or rocking, to appear more typical and conform to societal norms.
- Continuously monitoring speech and body language to blend in and avoid standing out as different.
- Feeling like you’re wearing a mask, not being able to express your true self, which often leads to feelings of isolation and disconnection.
Masking can be an adaptive mechanism for individuals to navigate a world that may not understand or accept them fully. However, it can make you feel overloaded when you’re trying to process others’ emotions and reactions while suppressing your own. Or, even trying to process your own thoughts and feelings while masking. Recognizing that you can take off your mask and be your authentic self is essential for your well-being. Remember, you are not “broken” or needing to be fixed. It’s okay not to fit into societal norms and embrace your unique neurodivergence. You deserve to be accepted and celebrated for who you are, without having to mask or hide any part of yourself.
Masking Can Further Lead to a Lack of Representation
When individuals feel the need to mask or hide their true selves, it can lead to a lack of representation in society. This means that autistic individuals and their experiences are not accurately portrayed or included in mainstream media, education, and other important areas. But also, other autistic or neurodivergent individuals, such as yourself, may not see themselves represented even among their peers. It can make you feel as if you are the only autistic person in your circle, and this can be isolating. Representation matters because it validates your experiences and shows that you are not alone.
As we talked about in my blog, “You’re Not Alone, Other Autistic Women Are Just Masking Too” you may not see other autistic people at your work, school, or other social settings, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. They could be masking, just like you. As a result, neurotypical individuals may have limited awareness and understanding of autism and its diversity within the community. But it’s due to systematic barriers and societal expectations, not a lack of autistic individuals.
DSM-5-TR Criteria vs. Real-life Characteristics
It’s essential to note that while the DSM-5-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition – American Psychological Association) provides a framework for diagnosing autism, it does not always reflect the real-life experiences and characteristics of autistic individuals. Every individual is unique, and their autism may present differently from what is outlined in the manual. For instance, some individuals may not exhibit all the symptoms listed in the criteria, but that does not invalidate their experiences or diagnosis.
Also, the DSM-5-TR criteria may not accurately reflect the diverse experiences within the autism community. It pushes for diagnoses based on deficits rather than strengths and reinforces stereotypes about autistic individuals. But self-diagnoses or research-based diagnoses can also be valid, as long as they are made based on understanding and recognizing the characteristics of autism in oneself. You do not have to be officially diagnosed to identify as autistic or receive support and accommodations. You know yourself best, and your experiences are valid regardless of labels or diagnoses.
Reasons for not seeking a formal diagnosis can include:
- Financial barriers, including the absence of insurance coverage or the exorbitant cost of diagnostic procedures, pose significant challenges.
- Limited availability of specialized professionals proficient in diagnosing and providing support to individuals with autism.
- Fear of societal stigma and discrimination, which can manifest through interactions with friends, family, and employers.
- The personal decision to prioritize self-awareness and self-acceptance rather than pursuing a formal diagnosis.
As we continue to break stereotypes and advocate for acceptance and inclusion, it’s essential to remember that the DSM-5-TR is not a definitive guide for what autism is or isn’t. It’s one way of understanding autism, but it should not be used as a measure of self-worth or validation. Your unique experiences and characteristics are what make you, you – and that is something to be celebrated.
Why Use “Traits” Instead of “Symptoms”
Understanding the need for specific vocabulary is key. The cognitive, sensory, and social differences seen in ASD are not a disease, but differences in how the brain processes the world. It’s a form of neurodiversity, which means that autism is not a disorder but a variation in the human brain. Therefore, referring to autistic traits and characteristics rather than symptoms is more appropriate and respectful.
Symptoms suggest something is wrong or needs to be fixed.
While traits recognize the natural differences and strengths of neurodivergent individuals. Embracing these traits can lead to greater self-acceptance and understanding. It also helps to move away from the medical model of disability. This often focuses on deficits and “fixing” individuals rather than accommodating their needs and celebrating their diversity. By recognizing and valuing autistic traits, we can create a more inclusive environment for all individuals in the autism community. For instance:
- Rather than referring to “symptoms of autism,” we can use the term “characteristics of autism spectrum.”
- Instead of saying “treating autism,” we can say “providing comprehensive support and resources for individuals on the autism spectrum.”
- Instead of saying “curing autism,” we can say “promoting acceptance and embracing the unique strengths of neurodiverse individuals.”
Embracing and using appropriate language can promote a more empathetic and inclusive approach to talking about autistic individuals but also anyone in the neurodivergent community. It acknowledges that autism is not a problem to be fixed, but a diverse way of experiencing the world. Let’s continue to use compassionate and respectful language to create a safe and supportive environment for all individuals in the autism community.
You think you may be autistic, and that’s okay. Whether you are self-diagnosed or formally diagnosed, your experiences and feelings are valid. Neurodiversity is more than a diagnosis – it’s about embracing and celebrating individual differences. It’s also more common for individuals, like yourself, to recognize their traits and get the support they need. You are a part of a diverse and vibrant community, and your unique experiences matter.
Feel Validated with a Neurodivergent Affirming Therapist in Beverly Hills, CA
You are autistic or think that you might be. Finding support and resources can be overwhelming. Especially ones that are neurodivergent affirming. Therapy can be an excellent way to explore and better understand yourself. However, not all therapists are familiar with autism or have experience working with individuals on the spectrum. At Open Doors Therapy, we strive to create an inclusive and safe environment for autistic individuals, offering neurodiversity-affirming therapy in Beverly Hills, Garden Grove, Orange County, and Santa Monica, CA, and online. Our therapists have experience and training in supporting neurodivergent individuals and their unique needs. Whether you have a formal diagnosis or are seeking support for self-identified, autistic traits, we are here to validate and empower you on your journey of self-discovery. If you’re interested in learning more about our team, our services, and which may be right for you, you can follow these steps to gain more information:
- Reach out to our autism therapy practice and schedule a free phone consultation.
- Learn more about our services and which may be best for you or your employees
- Embrace and celebrate your unique neurodiversity!
Other Services Offered with Open Doors Therapy
Our team stands with the neurodiverse community. This is why we offer a variety of services to best support them when they are needing therapeutic support. This is why our California-based practice is happy to offer a variety of services to our clients, including individual therapy, parent counseling, and group therapy. In addition, we also offer social skills groups. These include college students with autistic traits, young adults with autism, women who identify as neurodiverse, a mother’s group, and an online parent support group. Please feel free to visit our Autism Resources pagefor info and helpful resources. Learn more about our services by reaching out or visiting our blog today!
About the Author
Are you seeking answers about autism? Meet Dr. Tasha Oswald, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist (#30423) and the compassionate Founder and Director of Open Doors Therapy and Neurodiversity School. With over 15 years of experience working with teens and adults on the autism spectrum, Dr. Oswald is dedicated to supporting neurodiverse individuals and their families. She specializes in developmental and clinical psychology, as well as cognitive neuroscience. Dr. Oswald, along with her team at Open Doors Therapy, is here to provide the best possible care and help you navigate your unique journey. Let’s explore the world of autism together!