People who identify as being autistic, neurodiverse, or having neurodiverse traits are well aware of the pressures to fit into neurotypical standards.
Whether at school, work, with family, or with friends, there is often an expectation that neurodiverse individuals should mask their neurodiverse traits to fit in. And unfortunately, this expectation has historically been prevalent within the world of mental health and therapy as well. To this day there are approaches to therapy that encourage masking and otherwise are not neurodiversity-affirming.
Which leads us to the question, what is neurodiversity-affirming therapy? What makes it different, and how is it actually practiced?
Now, I don’t have one single definition for you because what makes therapy neurodiversity-affirming is very nuanced. And really, our understanding and standards of neurodiversity-affirming language, practices, and approaches have changed and will continue to change. Which is why I’m answering this question with a blog. And really, one blog can’t fully cover the nuances of neurodiversity-affirming therapy, but it’s a good place to start.
But before we dive into neurodiversity-affirming therapy, I’m going to start by describing what it isn’t.
When therapists are trained in therapy approaches tailored towards autistic and neurodiverse individuals, we often aren’t trained to be neurodiversity-affirming. When I was being trained, I would often notice things that didn’t feel neurodiversity-affirming. This would include language that wasn’t inclusive, approaches that prioritized neurotypical standards, and practices that essentially encouraged people to mask their neurodiverse traits.
Often these practices were taught as being in the best interest of neurodiverse individuals. See, there is a misconception that fitting into neurotypical standards will make life easier and even more fulfilling for autistic and neurodiverse people. However, this idea neglects the fact that masking can lead to shame, anxiety, depression, and an overall lack of self-understanding or self-worth. And it assumes that autism and neurodiverse traits are something to be “fixed”.
These ideas, even with “good intent” are damaging, especially when promoted or taught by therapists who have authority in their clients’ lives.
This is why it’s important to look beyond intent and to understand the impact that these practices have. This is why neurodiversity-affirming approaches are so important.
As the term suggests, neurodiversity-affirming approaches are “affirming”. They honor neurodiverse identities and neurodiverse individuals as they are. Rather than creating unrealistic expectations that they can or should be “rewired”. They encourage authenticity, self-confidence, and self-understanding.
But you may be wondering what this really looks like in practice.
One way this is practiced is by encouraging people to look inward and develop a greater understanding of themselves.
Neurodiverse-affirming therapy should encourage people to focus on who they are. Instead of focusing on how they are perceived. When we focus on always being perceived the “right” way, masking is more likely to occur and people are more likely to lose their sense of self.
Now, this doesn’t mean that we completely neglect the fact that neurodiverse individuals exist in a neurotypical world. For example, we know that for many autistic and neurodiverse individuals it takes courage and extra effort to speak up for themselves in neurotypical environments. However, we focus on encouraging people to find their voice and communicate their needs effectively, instead of trying to change their needs to fit into a neurotypical environment.
Many people get caught in a trap of believing that they have to be a certain way to survive.
As neurodiverse-affirming therapists, a lot of the work that we do is to help people see outside of that trap, and outside of the fear that the trap brings. This may look like supporting people to find a community that understands and honors their experience. Or, representation that shows that neurodiverse perspectives are valuable, and neurodiverse individuals don’t have to mask to lead fulfilling lives.
This doesn’t mean ignoring the reality of discrimination or social barriers that neurodiverse people and communities often face. However, neurodiverse-affirming approaches to therapy don’t assume that the solution to these barriers is masking or hiding who you are. Instead, neurodiverse-affirming approaches encourage people to advocate for themselves and their needs while honoring who they are. And neurodiverse-affirming approaches also encourage education and allyship to change these social barriers.
That’s why understanding what it means to be neurodiverse-affirming goes beyond therapy. It also applies to language, representation, and allyship (which I hope to dive into in future blogs). Though when it comes to therapy, neurodiverse-affirming approaches are essential to quality mental health care.
Are you interested in seeking out neurodiversity-affirming support in California? We offer therapy, coaching, and groups at Open Doors Therapy.
At our practice, we offer neurodiversity-affirming therapy to teens, adults, and their families located in California and Illinois. However, therapy isn’t the only service we offer at Open Doors Therapy.
We also offer many different online groups. These are a great way to learn more about your neurodiverse identity in a group of others who understand your experiences. We offer groups that are tailored towards teens, young adults, LGBTQIA+ individuals, women, parents, and other communities as well.
And we offer neurodiverse-affirming coaching services as well which are open to people who are located outside of California and Illinois. If you’re interested in learning more about our services and which may be the best for you, you can reach out to our autism therapy practice to schedule a free phone consultation.
