Women with Autism: Do I Have Autistic Traits?

Welcome back to my blog series on women with autism! So far we have discussed notable female autism advocates, underdiagnosis and misdiagnoses, and why female autistic traits are missed. Today, we will discuss female autism traits. If you are wondering if you might have autism, it is helpful to know the traits that are common in women with autism.

Women with Autism Tend to Struggle with Social Skills

woman with autism traits looks in the camera. Learn more about autism in the women's social skills group in Palo Alto 94306 at Open Doors Therapy

Usually, a woman with autism struggles to read social cues and body language. For example, you may have learned to camouflage your social differences by nodding, smiling or laughing along with a joke. But, you didn’t actually understand it. You may notice girls that are in social cliques. But, you just never knew how to join one. Perhaps, you looked for a role model and imitated her behavior in social situations.

You’ve felt like others were born knowing how to interpret social interactions. Almost like they had been given a manual, and now you’re wondering where the heck is your manual. You might even feel like an alien or a stranger on this planet. Or, you may feel defective, broken, or flawed.

Autistic Women May Have Meltdowns

You work so hard to fit in at school or work. So, by the end of the day when you get home, your social battery is depleted. Then, if even one small thing is wrong, you have a meltdown. As a teen, your parents may have interpreted your behavior as very difficult or “emo.” But, they did not really understand how hard life was for you.

People Don’t Always Understand Autistic Women

You may have been told you were unfriendly, cold, or unapproachable at work. Maybe, you have even heard you should smile more, or that your face is hard to read. People might think you look upset, concussed, or bored when you actually feel neutral.

woman with autism struggles with social skills at work before going to an autism support group in Palo Alto 94306 at Open Doors Therapy

Emotions may feel confusing to you. It’s hard for you to “read” people’s facial expressions. You might not want to deal with people’s emotions. In fact, talking about them makes you uncomfortable, and you don’t see the value in it. You might think that only talking about facts or your passions is what builds friendships. So, it might not occur to you to consider others’ emotions much.

You’ve been told you take things too literally, or too seriously, or think too black and white about things. You feel most comfortable when there is a right answer. It can be hard to answer open-ended questions. You like structure in conversations and social interactions. One reason why it can be hard for you to start a conversation is that you don’t know what questions to ask. Maybe, you worry so much about what to say next in a conversation that you miss what the speaker is saying to you.

On the other hand, you might consider others’ feelings to the point where you ignore your own. You might have difficulty holding your sense of self while in a relationship.

Women with Autism Crave Routine and Structure

You might thrive when there is structure and predictability in your life. You might feel as though you need to control your environment, your family, or your romantic partner. When things change this may cause you to have an outburst. This “acting out” behavior may have been misinterpreted by family and school. They may have thought you were being defiant. But, I believe your need for control links back to the autism trait of rigidity and your need for predictability and structure.

Women with Autism Tend to Have a Strong Sense of Justice and Morality

You might feel very passionate about your principals and morals. This might mean that you are very honest and don’t understand people who are not. You may be very sensitive to criticism and have a strong sense of righteousness. Sometimes, you may feel compelled to tell people how they “should” do things or live their life. You do this because you want to help them. People might find your directness and feedback as critical or off-putting. It can be difficult for you to recognize their perspective. You may not understand that what is helpful for you might not be helpful for them.

If You Think You Might Have Autistic Traits, a Social Skills Group Can Provide You With Support

Joining an ASD group is helpful if you feel that you struggle with these experiences on a daily basis. Imagine, having other neurodiverse women to talk and relate with. These women go through the same struggles as you every day. Our Neurodiverse Women’s Group at Open Doors Therapy will be your support team.

Our Women’s Group will:

Help you understand how autistic traits affect your life
Gain a greater sense of self and feel empowered
Learn useful social communication skills to build and maintain relationships
Develop coping strategies to help you manage stress, anxiety, and sensory overload

Open Doors Therapy Offers a Wide Variety of Autism Support Groups

In addition to the Women’s Group, I also offer a variety of mix-gender autism support groups. Because I know that autistic women have more in common with autistic men than they do differences. Sometimes, in my mixed-gender groups, I see my autistic women relating to the stories told by the men in our groups. Both autistic men and autistic women both struggle socially, they can relate to each other. So, please reach out if you are interested in joining an autistic women’s and or mixed-gender support group.

Begin Therapy for Women with Autism in Palo Alto, CA

If some of the information I have given you in this blog resonates with you and your experiences, consider talking to a member of our therapy team for support. We will help connect you with the group or resources that best meet your unique needs. To begin autism therapy in the South Bay Area, follow these steps:

Sitting on her couch, a woman with autism is enjoying a cup of coffee at home. She has learned new social skills in the women's autism support group in Palo Alto, CA 94306 at Open doors therapy

Contact to Open Doors Therapy in Palo Alto and schedule a free 30-minute phone consultation,
Come to our clinic for a 1-hour intake meeting with an autism therapist. Here we will discuss your needs and help you get the support you need,
Join the Women’s Group, or a different autism support group, and meet other people with autistic traits in the South Bay Area!

Other Autism Services at Open Doors Therapy

Our autism therapy clinic located in Palo Alto, CA specializes in helping high-functioning autistic individuals and their families. We help those who identify as having autism, Asperger’s, high functioning autism, ASD, undiagnosed autism traits, etc. Our autism therapy services include individual therapy, parent counseling, and group therapy. Also, we offer several group therapy options that include college students with autistic traits, working professionals with autism, young adults with autism, neurodiverse adults, women who identify as neurodiverse, and neurodiverse youth & caregivers. Lastly, I have been writing a series of blog posts. Ultimately, my goal is to give individuals with autism more information and resources about life with ASD. Please contact our counseling clinic to discuss our autism therapy services and learn about the ways we can help you live a happy and successful life.

About the Author

Dr. Tasha Oswald is a trained developmental and clinical psychologist. And, she is the founder and director of Open Doors Therapy, a private practice specializing in autism therapy services in the South Bay Area, near San Francisco, CA. Dr. Oswald specializes in helping neurodiverse teens and adults and facilitating social skills groups.

Share on Facebook